Finding my Place at Home

I recently re-read a quote by Karey Swan, which loosly paraphrased, said, "In order to get beyond the maintenance part of homemaking, I need to spend most of my time at home."

I read that quote years ago, when I checked out her book "Hearth and Home" (the title of which inspired my blog title!). Her book was out of print once, was recently reprinted, and I am not sure as to the current status. It's one of those hard to find gems, full of thought provoking wisdom.

At the time that I read her book, I was pretty busy as a mom. We were doing a lot of running here and there, and I was in the mindset that I needed to have lots of "me activities" and my kids needed lots of "social/sports/education activities". Even though I was an "at home mom", we were running all the time. I realized that the reason I didn't LOVE homemaking was because all I was doing was the "maintenance". There's very little creativity in cleaning toilets, throwing dishes in the dishwasher and shuffling laundry. It seemed that my primary job fit the description of butler, chauffer, maid, and cook.

Reading Karey Swan's book, challenged me to rethink the concept of HOME, and to find my PURPOSE here. I didn't want my home to simply be a way-station for my family. I wanted home to be a place of respite, a place of belonging for each family member, a place where each of us could grow into God's purpose for our lives. As Eric Sloane put it, I wanted "home to be more than an address". Enter: the concept of a "homeMAKER". My purpose became that of using my gifts, talents, abilities, intelligence, and passions to create such a place for the ones who matter most to me. When I was working full time, years ago teaching school - I have to confess, that my students, and my "boss" got my "best" every day. When I came home - my family got my "leftovers" - but as a homemaker - my family gets my best.

I have also often had people comment to me, "I'd go crazy if I stayed home all day" or "I'd go crazy if I homeschooled my children". Those remarks perplex me to some extent. I'm not sure if they understand exactly what they are saying. I think that some view homemakers as "maids, chauffers, and cooks". They don't see that, yes, while I work very hard at many mundane tasks..... I also have the freedom to use my abilities in profoundly creative and satisfying ways. I am far more satisfied in making a home, and pouring my energies into the most important people in my life than I ever was working full time. As far as going crazy homeschooling my children, while I realize that not everyone is a good fit for homeschooling - the time alone that I have had to build relationships with my children is more precious than anything I can think to compare it with. Now that my oldest is in school, and I am daily, acutely aware of the time I no longer have with him, it makes me realize just how thankful I am to have had the years that I will never replace, building lasting and meaningful relationship with him. I cherish the time I have with my other two children, who are still learning at home.

However - I believe I am digressing.....

By choosing to stay home - for lengths of time, rather than run all over the place, shuttling my children here and there, or simply overcommiting myself to outside activities, I am no longer controlled by the "tyranny of the urgent". My home is kept in a relatively smooth working order, and there is TIME for the creativity. I view using my creativity in the kitchen, making a simple but nourishing and satisfying meal for my family every evening as my ministry to them. Crafting homemade curtains to brighten a window, taking the time to put fresh flowers in mason jars, snuggling my daughter in with a blanket that I made, washing dishes with pretty dischothes that I knitted, having time to read and think deeply rather than constantly being in a state of stress and exhaustion, being available for those "life shaping" discussions that always seem to unexpectedly come up with my kids, creating a place of peace and well-being in my home...... these are all just tiny parts to the place I have found here, in my place as a Home-Creator and a Home-Maker.